From negotiation to stress management.
Recently, I had the pleasure of delivering our “Effective Negotiation” training for one of our dear clients and friends. It developed skills that are always necessary, primarily for the purchasing department and other critical positions in the corporation. Many people believe these techniques should be learned only by sales and customer service staff—a serious mistake! Given the nature of this company's products, negotiations with suppliers or customers can represent thousands or millions of pesos.
Before training, we met with the leaders of the departments involved to better understand participants’ particular needs—the reason for the training—and target the course content more effectively. One key stakeholder said his team was unprepared for these activities: rather than seeking mutually beneficial agreements with suppliers, they always submitted entirely to the suppliers’ policies, which had often caused serious complications, particularly in production. “Well,” I said, “that is what the course is for. We will develop skills to make your procedures win–win.”
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Between experiences, examples and other information
To cut a long story short, dear reader, among the experiences, examples and other information they shared to help me understand the department's needs, one particular incident came up. One of the women had experienced allergic reactions as soon as she learned she would be involved in one of these negotiations. The engineer described it as though it were simply bad luck or bad timing.
Then we reached the heart of the matter. Was it an empowerment issue? Possibly, but that is not the key point. Whether negotiating thousands of dollars or chewing gum, not everyone has the temperament for certain jobs and situations. We also identified significant room for improvement in stress management. Constant stress was creating a tense, unpleasant atmosphere within the department and affecting the rest of the organization.
This is one of the main competencies I believe every top-class negotiator should develop. Let’s be clear: it does not mean never feeling stressed; it means learning to control our emotions so we can move forward.
Effective negotiations
The final module of our Effective Negotiation training teaches simple, practical stress-control techniques, because a cool head reasons more effectively. Here are a couple of tips to begin managing stress:
- Identify the emotion precisely, with its “first and last name.” Do not just say, “I’m stressed.” What do you feel? Where? How? Think of hunger: we generally recognize it because our stomach growls and feels empty. This is exactly the same.
- Find the source: all right, we feel anxious and nervous. What now? Identify the external trigger—or internal trigger, in many cases—that creates these feelings. Specifically, what causes the reaction? What moment, object or event? Do not be vague with yourself: we need to define exactly what it is.
- Assess: Can you change, modify or adapt the situation causing you stress? Yes? Get to work! No?...
- Adapt: How can you adjust to this situation? How could you eliminate it or at least distance yourself from it? Then move forward.
Does it sound easy? It is not. We will probably stumble several times before improving our stress management. But this is only the beginning of learning to control the discomfort you feel during negotiations, whether facing a customer, supplier, packed auditorium, an interview for your dream job or even declaring your feelings to the love of your life.
Remember, we negotiate all the time, not just at work. Learn to control stress—you will remember my words—and enjoy the rest of life.
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